“The remedy of all blunders, the cure of blindness, the cure of crime, is love.” Ralph Waldo Emerson For Today Aug. 19
Because of my past, my defects of character, and my lack of experience with forgiveness and tolerance- it has taken me many years to accept the love that is offered to me in this program. In the past I learned to falter- to break promises and to fail people as a way of pushing them away. The safe “buffer zone” of broken commitments that keeps me at a distance and in a state of self-loathing and guilt.
So many times, I have taken my sponsor and the meetings for granted- only to be accepted back- without reservation. Loving arms open wide to me- if only my self-defeating mind would remember that I am a part of a family that knows exactly where I am, have been, and am bound for if I continue to take this journey that the Big Book maps out for me.
This keeps me mindful that even though I have these defects of character- my sponsor and fellow members will lovingly accept me as I am without the need to “test” them or push them away. To trust that I will always have a place to go, and that I am no longer alone.